As I write this in early 2023, a bill has recently been introduced in the Oklahoma legislature that would make it a felony for healthcare providers to provide most gender-affirming care to people younger than 21 and creates additional roadblocks for adult patients seeking their care. While the details of this specific bill are still in flux, it is an example of an overall trend of legislation in Oklahoma (and in many other institutions across the country) aimed at restricting the lives of LGBTQ+ people, including inhibiting access to basic care, education, and community resources.
And more appear to be on the way. Just a week ago, the Oklahoma House of Representatives passed a “Don’t Say Gay or Trans” bill, prohibiting discussions of gender and sexuality in schools. This trend is extremely worrisome, leaving many people wondering what’s going to happen next and where they can safely get the support they need.
More than ever, it feels deeply important to be clear that Gray Matters Counseling is always a safe space to discuss gender and sexuality issues of any kind without judgment or criticism. Over the years, I’ve worked with a wide variety of LBGTQ+ individuals, helping them to understand themselves more fully. I’ve helped them develop the language and confidence to share their story with the people they trust and to begin moving through the world in a way that honors the most important parts of their identities. Perhaps most importantly, LBGTQ+ counseling can help people navigate their family and social relationships in communities that aren’t always accepting (and are sometimes quite threatening).
These are topics that are deeply important to a person’s sense of self, and they are also topics that arouse sometimes-intense shame, guilt, and anxiety in a great number of people. When LGBTQ+ individuals live in an environment of anxiety and pressure, these negative feelings are worsened and intensified, sometimes leading to deep depression, fear of relationships, and even self-harming behaviors. The primary negative symptoms of gender dysphoria – intense discomfort with the body, a sense of isolation and “otherness,” and difficulty with a sense of self – are further worsened when a person lives within a family or community that regularly makes them feel psychologically or physically unsafe. Unfortunately, this is an apt description of a large number of LGBTQ+ Oklahomans.
As of this writing, no similar legislation has been proposed that will impact counseling or counselors directly (though I’m anxiously following this ongoing discussion). Indirectly, I’m deeply concerned that I’ll have fewer and fewer providers to legally refer my clients to for clinically appropriate medication, hormones, and surgeries. Still, at the moment LPCs have not been targeted by such legislation. However, my worry is that this will eventually change.
As a counselor, I hear people’s fear of the uncertainty, the anxiety, and the very real threats they experience – so I think it’s important to say that Gray Matters Counseling will always provide high-quality, evidenced-based counseling to anyone who needs it.
Gender-affirming care is evidence-based. As a counselor, and as a person, I take my ethical and moral responsibility to my clients extremely seriously – part of this is to provide the best care I can based on the best evidence available. While the research on topics of gender identity and sexuality has historically been ignored and restricted, this has been changing in recent decades. The evidence is increasingly strong: Gender dysphoria and problems with sexuality can’t be treated and resolved in an atmosphere of shame and secrecy. These are core parts of a person’s identity, and healing can’t begin until they are accepted and explored with an attitude of love and acceptance.
At Gray Matters Counseling, it’s my goal to provide this level of care. I hope to empower LGBTQ+ individuals in Oklahoma to accept themselves fully, act on their values, and live more fulfilling lives.
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If you or someone you know is struggling with issues related to gender and sexuality, I invite you to schedule an appointment today. And check out the resources below:
If you live in the Tulsa area, the Dennis R. Neill Equality Center is a fantastic place for just about any kind of resource you could imagine. PFLAG is another great resource if you are near Oklahoma City, Norman, or Stillwater. Both organizations can also be contacted by phone or online if you live too far to visit in person.
Other helpful links:
Planned Parenthood, information about healthcare
“Know Your Rights,” National Center for Transgender Equality
Best Practices for Gender-Affirming Care, CDC
Talking to young children about gender issues
"Children and gender identity: Supporting your child," May Clinic